Three Turtles.

I have heard of this several times. In fact several versions of it. Dedicate this to a friend. *This is a story about your species.

Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener."
"I didn't bring it," says Les. "I thought you packed it."
Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??"
Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.

After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.

Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise.

Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........
"I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT F*CKING GOING!"

Pinang tree with a face.





This pinang tree made the headelines on the 12 September 2006. Apparently some villagers noticed a "face" on the tree. The face caused quite a commotion. And it appears to be profitable to the villagers. The villagers have been selling photographs of the "face" since the papers highlighted it. So far some few thousands of copies had been sold.Many had poured in to see the face which is said to be changing.

It would be quite a laugh if it turns out to be carved. We'll just have to wait a few more days to find out.

Tarzan

Was in the shower when this rhyming inspiration hit me. The original version goes:

Tarzan, Tarzan in the air
Tarzan lost his underwear
Tarzan said "I don't care"
Because someone will sew me a new pair

The augmented version goes:

Tarzan, Tarzan in the air
Tarzan lost his underwear
Tarzan said "I don't care
Because I've got hair

An alternative version would be:

Tarzan, Tarzan in the air
Tarzan lost his underwear
Tarzan said "I don't care"
Because I don't wear!


* The writer is not as dirty minded as it seems. Just that under immense pressure, the mind comes up with unusual thoughts.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

Went for a haircut this evening at a place highly recommended by a friend. Before the haircut my hair was rather shapeless thanks to a stylist who doesn't know how to shape it but still rather thick. I thought why not give it a try at this new place that my friend frequents. Furthermore her hairstyles weren't bad. Hence I gave it a shot.

Walked in to the saloon. Got my hair washed and waited for the boss/stylist/frontman. She walked over after attending to her customers and passed a lot of comments on my hair. Then she suggested that I layered it more and change the fringe. I thought well ok. Why not try a new look. She picked up her scissors, pick up my hair and started slicing. Chunks after chunks of my hair landed on the floor. Again and again her scissors went through my hair. I looked down and saw my hair all over the floor. I didn't knew I had so much hair to be sliced. Not long after, she summoned her assistant to blow dry my hair. Then after a while, she came and took over the blowing herself. Telling her assistant how she didn't blow it correctly. Tugging at my hair to illustrate. Then she removed the plastic apron from my body and tell me she's done. Walked over to the counter and paid then leave.

Upon reaching home, after changing into house clothes I picked up a comb to comb my hair. To my horror there's nothing to be combed. Look at my reflection in the mirror and thought "Oh blimey, what has she done to my hair!" Nevermind. Just have to live with it till my hair grows. Which is another 6 months time.

It didn't hit me that hard until a moment ago when I was about to get a shower. Picked up my hair to it into a pony tail only to discover that there isn't much left to be tied up. No more pony tail. Only strips of roots of weeds. Man, I look like a cancer stricken patient who's undergoing chemotherapy. What am I to do now?

How do these people actually qualify as stylist? Don't they have the basic knowledge of matching and creating a hairstlye according to a person's face? It's as though they become stupid when they see me and lose all their styling sense and make a mess out of my hair. On top of that I paid quite a sum for my hair to be messed up. Time and time again. Sigh.

Panty snipper

Came across a rather eye catching headline in the newspaper a few days back. Didn't actually know how this headline made it into the first few pages of the news. You know usually the first few pages are for serious issues and all. The heading reads "Panty Snipper". Now that's something new. Apparently there's this freaky person breaking into houses and snipping part of the panty of sleeping girls. This short, strong body ordoured skunk kind of a man as described cuts holes through blankets and track pants to snipp off part of the panty.Yikes. And the strangest thing was one of the girl described that she didn't even know part of her panty was snipped off until she woke up to find a hole in her track pants and panty. Err... don't really know what use are those pieces of panties from numerous girls are to that man. Perhaps he's trying to sew a quilt. Man there are certainly weird people around.