Benchmark

Never knew I was that influential, but I have to admit, people tend to copy what I do. IT does get annoying. They hate to admit it, but whatever I do, they will immitate. Case 1: Bangs. I was bored with my hairstyle. Have been having the same hairstyle since college. Everytime I go for a haircut, the stylists will ask me whether I want to perm, dye or straighten my hair, but I always turn them down. Sometime last year, I finally had an itch. I decided to change my hairstyle. So I just opted for bangs and did a little colouring. When I went to work the next day, I overheard them whispering "Why the drastic change?". The next thing you know, more than half the female population in office had bangs (including the bosses). It's like uniform hairstyle. Ok, females choose to hate me, but why you copy my hairstyle and hair colour? Case 2: Bags. I was carrying more stuff to work. The bags were getting heavier and heavier. Everyday I would look like a crazy person carrying multiple bags. And that has caused my body to ache. So I got a lightweight bag. It's not to show off but hey I have the right to carry whatever bag I like. The moment they saw my bag, all the green eyed monsters were unleashed. The girls in the lunch group started showing their jealous attitude. Then one of them told me not to carry my bag. Instaed carry everything loose. Wallet, phone, all in your hands. Then the following days, there's this female colleague in the department, started carrying longchamps in every colour to compete. Totally amazed by my influence. Ok whatever. I'll continue doing what I like. Not so long ago, I got another bag. Well, I have the right to. Besides, my poor Longchamp have been stretched thin (literally speaking). When they saw this bag, all their faces change colour. They start excluding me for lunch. Whatever. Be jealous all you want. That's not going to change a thing. Then last week, bitch opted not to come in for work. But intentionally come to join us for lunch. She brought along an "amulet". Both of them pretended to be all cheery and delighted to join us but the real intention was to show off a LV. The other girls opted to split for lunch. So it was bitch, amulet, bitch bff, 2 fellas and me. While we were heading towards the "restaurant" bitch and gang (amulet & bff) said to one of the fellas " You have no chance by joining us because all of us are attached. Well except for the left over sugar cane (referring to mua)". The fella replied them, "When I join you all I am the youngest". Laughter. I now know how important I am to them. They use me as a benchmark for everything. To them, I'm perfection. Awwwww......They hate me but yet they opt to immitate everything I do. Just face it. I bring life into the boring workplace. They have been in the company longer than I have but no one knows of their existance. They try to start trends but no one cares to notice. Come on, spending more than what you earn to buy "fugly branded mismatched clothing" is not trendy. Beside I can wrap a towel and start a new fad. It will spread faster than the gossip that they spread. Jinjang will remain jinjang. Faking and accent does not help either.

Almost

It seems that everything has been getting in the way of me finalizing it. Every time I attempt to finalise it, something would occur. Confrontation from bigger boss (rather unfriendly one), system down, internet connection down, Lotus Notes crash, push to the brink of insanity from counterparts. The list just goes on. Fast forward, half a month has brisk by. Today, managed to squeeze some time to finalize it. First attempt, internet connection was down. So plug in cable. Lotus notes crash again. Computer hang.Restart computer. Try to enter website. Unable to access. Finally, managed to access. Filled in the blanks, click submit. Unable to submit. Resubmit. Finally went through. Was it a sign to prevent me from finalizing? I don't know. Am I making the right decision? Possibly. Wouldn't know for sure. But what I do know is, start counting down.

Roses are Red

Nice poem from 9gag.

Under The Weather

I seldom fall sick. But this seems to be some sort of routine of late. What I am definite is that it is related to overwork and stress from oppression.

F.I.R.E

It was just another ordinary day at the office. Everyone was plonking away on the keyboard. Suddenly the bell rang. For a moment it felt like the school bell had just rang. Ah....the most anticipated moments during school (Lunch break and dismiss). Haven't heard that in a while. Made me miss school. Then the ringing brought back my senses. It didn't stop after a few minutes. It kept ringing. Everyone got really excited and started behaving like kids. Is it time to leave? What's happening? Is it false alarm? Has the alarm gone bonkers again? The noise from everyone's chatter drown the ringing. But the ringing didn't stop. All the managers were perplexed. They didn't know what to do. They should have been well equipped but they seem to be as clueless as a new hire. Then everyone got up from their workstations, locked the drawers and headed for the stairs. And wonder which genius decided to lock the entrance to the stairs. Very bright indeed. there were 400+ people moving aimlessly around the floor looking for the nearest exit stairway. This is when you truly see manners. Regardless of age, they just jump queue and behaving like baboons.

We then began walking down the stairs. Like slow loris making its way down the endless steps. Pausing every few seconds because the donkeys in front decided to halt. Holding the line up. During every pause, you'll see different antics. Some started taking photos with their phones. Some shooting videos. Some opened up their TP and started typing .I wonder if they are that dedicated when seated at their workstation. Probably just updating FB status. "Look I'm walking down the stairs". It was the longest march down the never ending uneven steps. Try walking down 16 flights of stairs in high heels and you'll know what I mean. It was really stuffy and hot. Did I mention I was in long sleeves? I could feel sweat rolling down my back. Then my face started to feel wet. By the time we were halfway down the stairs, I was already sweating profusely. The anal thing is I didn't bring anything with me. No handbag, no cash, no IC. No tissue.Nothing except my wonky phone. Very bright. It it were a real fire, I would be stateless because I don't have ID to prove my nationality. It took almost an hour to reach concourse. If it were a real fire we would have been ash (similar to the Twin Tower victims of 911).

When we finally reach, and walked through the door, it was instant relief. I could feel slight breeze. Probably being confined in the stuffy and hot stairway for too long makes anything bearable. While exiting the building, it felt strange. The reception that is usually on my right is now on my left. Oh wait, we are exiting through another side of the building (another company's entrance). When I was approaching the glass door, I had a feeling we were like heroes that managed to circled the earth and re-entered. There was this girl, standing by the wall capturing the epic moment of our march out with her phone. The world is full of strange people. I wonder why the security guards didn't user her out to a "safer" place?

When I stepped out of the building, there were firemen standing at the entrance. But there was no fire in sight. Not even a tiny baby snake or runaway crocodile. When I look up, there were a sea of people standing on the opposite side of the road. Some were holding up placards with the company name and floor on it. It was sizzling when I stepped into the sun. Making my way through the crowd aimlessly ( I didn't know where to go) I feel every pore of my skin open. I was drenched in sweat. I have not had this feeling since my band days. I hate to sweat. Especially when you don't have tissue or towels to dry up and dry clothes to change in to. In short I just hate sweating. Makes me feel icky and uneasy. And I tend to be temperamental when I sweat. Like a sheep, I just wandered with the flock to the end of the road. Really tiring. From walking down 16 storeys and towards the end of the road, it's like running 1500km during school days.  There I have to look for the person holding the name list. I walked up to a person I see holding a list and having people swarm around that person. Then a person said "You do not belong to this team. Go find your team". SWEAT. Just write my name down on that freaking piece of paper. Anal. Then I saw another guy with a list. I walked up to him. He recognised me and started searching for my name. Then he said it's not in his list and told me to go to another person. When I walked up to the other girl, I just flashed my ID at her. She looked through her list but was unable to locate my name. But she just wrote it down. That's bright. Better than the other 2. After she wrote my name I quickly walked towards shelter. Stood there for about 5-10 minutes. Then everyone started walking back.

Speechless. Seriously. Too exhausted. It was a long wait to re-enter the building. And even longer wait to board the elevator. I had blisters on both feet and when I reached the office I could hardly walk anymore. My legs were going weak and were trembling. Not to mention the pain from the blisters. I kicked off my shoes the minute I sat down and rummage through my bag for plaster to cover the blister. But it is no longer of any use. The blisters were already flatten and my feet were already aching. If I had known that there was a fire drill today, I would have opted to work from home. But then again, the witch would forbade me from doing so.

Sick

Had been working like a mule for the past couple of months and was forbidden to take day off by the prejudiced wicked witch. Finally, my body couldn't take all the torture anymore. I was not feeling well for the past few days but persisted and went to work as usual. I was feeling so sick yesterday that I wanted to puke on several occasions but held it in. When we went for lunch, I can hardly swallow but forced the food in anyway. And to have such considerate "lunch people". Went for Japanese food (which is the last thing a nauseous person needs).

Today, my body showed me how badly it has been abused. I felt nauseous  the moment my eyes opened. My head hurts from the fever from the previous day. Hence I called in sick for work. I text the witch informing her that I feeling under the wind and am heading to the doctor's.  The witch replied "Do you have MC? Inform me when you have MC". The wait at the clinic felt like an eternity. I was nauseous throughout the wait. At several occasions I almost puked on the floor.  When the consultation was over, I text the witch to inform her that I am ON MC for the day. I hardly ate for the past few weeks and have lost so much weight. Wonder why I'm still allowing the abuse to persist? Is it even worthwhile?


A moment ago, I saw a post by a friend that reads "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them ~ Dalai Lama"

And I would like to add "Karma"

A couple of days ago, a colleague told me something that I found rather amusing. She said there is something between her and her god, the moment she does something bad, it's instant karma. She added, just the night before, her sister said something and she gave her sister a sarcastic remark. The minute she finished uttering that, she bit herself. She says that's instant karma. Jokingly I asked her which god does she pray to? Perhaps we could introduce that to our foe. We had such a great laugh.

Is It Time?

Everyone has been telling me to throw in the towel. But I don't know why I'm being stubborn. Perhaps I do not want to lead a life that is being dictated by others. Or perhaps it's plain stupidity. Being threatened daily and treated lower than dirt, and it's not like I'm getting a big fat paycheque at the end of the month. Wonder if all my sacrifice is even worthwhile. Clock in sharp, leaving when the whole office is empty,lugging trees back to continue working through the wee hours even when I leave office at 11pm, and getting up and ready for the next battle by 7am. Being the subject of bitching of mother dog and her even bigger mother dog(the boss) as well as her mongrel colony. Forbidden to take leave (wonder if labour law protects employees from such treatment).


Today, mother dog and her mother did it again. IT's nothing new but what saddens me most is that the person that I thought was my friend and "preceptor" joined in the fiasco. The story is: There was an enquiry from another party demanding to know who requested for the thing to be done in that way. And this item that the party was referring to dated way back before I even joined the firm. After replying to that mail, mother dog came over with a bunch of keys and instructed me to retrive the backdated document from the archived documents in the cabinet. Being really tied up I was reluctant to do it. Then the mother of mother dog pinged me. Don't know what possessed me at that moment, I asked her whether is it necessary for me to retrieve the document since I'm really tied up. Knowing that the mother of mother dog will support with all four paws up with what bitch says, I don't know why I even bother asking (must be the doing of ghost). The big mother dog then stormed over to my place and lectured me and told me to run off to get what bitch instructed me to retrieve. Reluctantly I went to the filing cabinet knowing that both of them are doing it intentionally so that they can bitch about me to the bigger boss and make fun of my stupidity. When I returned they were laughing with all paws in the air. And guess who joined in? Someone I look up to ( because he's knowledgeable and helpful). He was a real jerk today. Not because he joined in the insult but what he said to the mother of mother dog. He said that one of the drive for him to resign is me. Fucker. If you want to resign just resign. Why blame me?


Just when you think that all this crap would end when you reach home, guess again. I was told an upsetting news. When it rains, it pours. But why does it always rain on me?

Oppression 2

The oppression has gone beyond what any normal person could comprehand. It has gone beyond the limit of anyone's patience. This has to be put to a stop. The pariah threatened, insulted and belittled me, after failing to make me consent to her demand. All this slander and mistreat is due to the scheming bitch's lies to cover her own soiled ass from trouble. I should have heed the advice of reporting her hanky panky. But I didn't. Now I land myself in a land mine. What should I do?

Oppression

Really fed up of being mistreated.Sick of being oppressed. It's not enough that I have to be the scapegoat, these assholes are simply taking advantage of me. There's the midget troll that won't cease attacking me and the mother dog that tries to make me appear incompetant. Everyday I'm just subject to unecessary pressure. Because of the midget troll, I had been forced into this role. And because I have to assume this role, mother dog has to take on another role which resulted in her detesting me. And this is not enough for the midget troll. His aim is to see my leave the company. As for mother dog, I don't know what she wants from me. She appear to everyone that she's doing more than she should in handling over but unbeknownst to other she is withholding information. She keep sidelining me even to the extent that I go over to her place and station there, she pretends to go elsewhere for work purposes. But the fact is she's just avoiding teaching me what she should have taught.


Three days ago, I had some glitches with my work. Hence I consulted her. She knew where the error lies but pretended not to. She made me check each line with the hardcopy. While I was doing as told, I saw her smirk with the corner of my eye. I then consulted a former team mate who was kind enough to help me through. While I was at his place seeking assistance, midget troll asked me sarcastically " You are in this team now?" (referring to the guy that was helping me's current team). I pretended not to get his sarcastic remark. Ticked off that he was not able to insult me, midget troll came up with the excuse to repudiate my software license. As I was to leave for the day, his buddy came up to me and insisted I have my software remove there and then as he needed it so desperately that without it the whole work process would fail.


God if you have access to the internet and I you happen to be reading this as I am writing it, please do me some justice. Is it fair for me to receive such oppression?

Wishing For The Sun To Not Rise

I'm exhausted. Tired. Aching all over.Extremely stressed. Frustrated. Annoyed.Pissed. All these negative chi is simply killing me. Had considered going to the Indian temple to get a "flower sprinkle blessing" to get rid of all the suey chi that has been bugging me.

I wish for the sun to not rise so soon. I need a few hours more of sleep and rest. Where is me well deserved holiday? Where oh where has my happiness gone?