Rambling

Recently, someone commented on my blog that some changes should be made to it and that person has some suggestions on how or more like a direction that I should take in revamping my blog. Then for some reason, I don't know what, I looked back at previous entries. I was surprised that there was one entry which had 79 comments. Then I looked at the comments. Some were saying they just stopped by and that my blog was what they are looking for, some condemning me for writing my views on some topic, some say that it's too wordy, some were obviously dissatisfied and posted porn ad links and other random links in the comments.


While looking through all those past entries, I started to recap on the reason I started blogging. It wasn't because I have an exceptionally great flair in writing, nor was it due to immense popularity or a desperate crave for attention. It was partly due to frustration over the things I had to go through in university, and partly because it was a way to let that person know what's happening in my life. Frankly, I didn't even know what a blog is until that person introduced it to me. It started with a blog that person was reading. Then that person's blog, then I started mine. But I didn't start blogging on this platform. I only started using this platform when another person introduced it to me.


Anyway, I supposed the main reason that person introduced me to blogging was to get rid of me. Truthfully, that need not be done. We were distance apart anyway. It was impossible for anything to develop. When that person went abroad to study, it was a full stop. Namely, we were in different fields and being poles apart. I got on with life until New Year's Eve, or Christmas that I received a text from that person. Then we started "talking" again. even texted me from different countries when on vacation. Supposed I was just a filler to kill time while waiting. Stupidly, I believed that that person was serious. Turned down a "mixed" (which happens to be cute by the way) and wasted years over a mirage. The "Mixed" was pissed at me and unfriend me as a result. I wonder how different it would have been had I accepted the other. If only I had not been so conservative and loyal, my life would have been different. I should have thought with a guy's mentality and went on ahead in dating others. Maybe than, my worth would have been greater (think Kim Kardashian. Her market value increases with every divorce).


I am beginning to forget. Forgetting the details, forgetting that person's face. It was until I came across a comment by that person on the social media that it hit me. The brain might have forgotten, but not the heart. I might not remember the details but I did not forget the action. Had that person not been a douche, we would have still be friends. But not like it matters anymore. But at least I know now what I mean to that person; I am just an insignificant person and carry less value than air and years of friendship means nothing. The poem is true:

True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare.
False friends are like autumn leaves, scattered everywhere.


To all female readers, please remember this:
Never let yourself be a substitute.
Excuses are just a sign that he's just not that into you.
If you are important to that person, he will make the effort and find a way. If not, he will find an excuse.


I don't even know why I'm dishing out on something private. But I suppose in conjunction with International Women's Day, you can see this as a good example of how not to fall for a douche.