Thursday, June 11, 2015

I Hate Cockroaches

 Incident 1. Two days ago I had a frightening encounter in the early morning. I walked to the kitchen to boil some water. Upon opening the kitchen door, I saw my greatest fear lurking near the dustbin. I quickly shut the door. I panicked as everything is in the kitchen, the thermos flasks, the kettle, the mugs, the stove, the microwave, the foodstuff, the fridge. I was home alone, (gulps, panic even more, no one to come to my rescue even if I scream the roof down) so I called for help but "help" told me to settle it myself. I was told to spray the stupid creature with insecticide until it turns belly up and die. Do you think I dare to go near that pest? The sight of it is enough to give me a cardiac arrest. In my panic state, I wondered who will be able to come to my assistance. As shameful as it was, I seek help from my neighbour. Fortunately my neighbour was awake at that time (it was rather early in the morning). My saviour came over but that pest had run into hiding. I panicked even more and was frantically spraying insecticide everywhere, as though it's free. It was very fortunate that my neighbour didn't just walk away when the stupid cockroach was no where in sight. My neighbour was kind enough to look all over for that damn thing and managed to find it and killed it. Thank you for coming to my aid.   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                                                                                                                 Incident 2. This took place in the shower today. I was taking a shower and I reached over to the shampoo rack to grab the shampoo. I squeezed the shampoo onto my palm and was about to return the bottle to the rack. It was then, I saw my biggest fear. Behind all the shampoo bottles,stood a ginormous cockroach on the wall , staring back at me. I shrieked and grabbed my towel and ran out of the bathroom. With shampoo in the palm of my left hand and my right clinging on to the towel that I was barely able to wrap around myself, I ran for my life. Mum came to my rescue. She went into the bathroom with the "ka Chang" (extermination equipment). She called out from the bathroom saying she don't see the cockroach. It was standing right in front of her but she didn't see it. Apparently, the huge ass cockroach went into hiding behind the shampoo bottles when it realised it had been spotted. When she finally saw it, she sprayed it with insecticide until it fell on the bathroom floor . but she forgot to bring the swatter and asked me to bring it to her. I wonder what makes her think that I dare to walk back into the terror zone and face the still alive but lost balance pest? She reiterate that I better hurry before the cockroach flips itself over and run amok. Amidst my fear, I walked near the bathroom and sort of handed her the swatter and she killed the cockroach. After reassurance that there weren't anymore cockroaches in there, I went back in and continued where I left of. I washed my hair hurriedly and rush out of the bathroom. there's still shampoo on my head and on my neck. I cleaned of the remainder with a wet towel. Fml. Can't even shower in peace. It was fortunate that it didn't fly towards me. Otherwise I would have fall in the bathroom due to the wet and slippery condition I was in.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

Identity Thief

I received two welcome emails from Instagram. It is rather astounding as I do not own an Instagram account. Yes, as shocking as this may sound, I indeed do not have an account with Instagram. Who on earth doesn't own an Instagram account? Well, I don't. By receiving these welcome emails indicate that someone stole my identity. To put it in a more gentle manner, someone is impersonating me. So much to the extent that it's creepy. This person has a 99.99% identical email address as mine. If you are not aware, you might think that I'm that person. I was shocked when I saw the similarities with my email address. I started looking up ways to contact gmail and Instagram to get them to help resolve this. But all that I find are just disclaimers and evasion of responsibilities. It simply states that, whoever that has their identity stolen or is being impersonated should contact the respective controlling bodies of their respective countries. What do you mean by there is nothing that can be done by your company? Why are the customers not being protected? I have been using this account for over a decade or more. Everyone that sees this name associate it with me. Whatever crap that this impersonator/ identity thief post will be linked to me one way or another. I will be penalised for things that I did not do. So what are you going to do about this, may I ask gmail and Instagram? I showed the email to close friends. They too were shocked with the 100% similarities in the email address. The name was spelt exactly like mine. What should I do? Lodging a police report on matters like these is equivalent to having people tell you to just suck it up and live with it. 

  What my friend with Instagram account sent me.

Monday, June 01, 2015

I Hate Insects

It has been awhile since I last hit high notes. Today, I found that I haven't totally lost that ability and that I am still able to be a dolphin. Ok. Perhaps that was a little exaggeration in regards to sounding like a dolphin. But I am still able to produce loud, high pitch screams ( I am an alto according to my school choir teachers). They never let me sing the main melody and always make me sway in the background like props. The first event took place when I went into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee for X. I pick up a cup and was enroute to the basin to rinse it( it is clean but I'm just a creature of habit). At the corner of my eye, I saw something running in the same direction as I was, towards the basin. Out of reflex I let out a loud scream. The stupid large cockroach frightened me. I have an immense phobia towards cockroaches. I ran out of the kitchen as fast as I could. I guess I must have scream a little too hard, my throat was a little sore. End of first incident. Second incident. About an hour or less later, I was in the living room. I spotted something blackish on the blind "wand" ( don't know what it's called. The thing that controls the opening and closing of the blinds). I stared at it for a while and realised it is a big ass insect. Seriously fml. Two in a row. Why is this happening to me. I ran away. I grabbed a can of insecticide and toughen up. Snucked towards the blinds, near enough for the bug spray to coat the creature, but far enough for comfort. I sprayed like there's no tomorrow at the stupid ginormous grasshopper look alike creature. Suddenly, that dumb insect decided to retaliate and jump/ fly in my direction. I screamed out of fear that it might land on me. And ran. My throat is really sore from the intense, unexpected vocal training. Screw you insects. Go turn yourselves into petroleum.