Troll Dad:2

My dad can be really childish. Whenever we are in the living room, we are bound to fight over the television. The problem is there's only one tv and astro decoder at home. When not in use no one is in the living room. The tv stations are to be blamed for always scheduling all the nice shows at the same time slot. He will always come up with sinister and sarcastic remarks whenever he wants to hog the tv. And all that he ever watches are those boring Kung fu and shows of those people from the bygone era ( ie. those where the actors are dressed in "bathrobes"). Oh not to forget Chinese news. He watches the news like a marathon, switching from channel to channel for the same thing. Really lame. It's not like there will be any different news when it's aired at the same time. Anyway, just the other day, I was watching a Korean drama in the living room. He hates Korean drama. He always mocks them. (Korean dramas are way better than those bygone era shows. At least there are variety in the story lines). I was lying on the sofa while watching the show. He was itching to switch the channel. So he stared at me. I knew his intentions but I wasn't giving in. He then said, "Are you asleep?" I replied,"no". He then said,"oh, cause your eyes look like they are closed". Me "no they are not. This is just as big as my eyes could get". I always get mocked over the size of my eyes. There's this friend of mine who did the same thing. We were disagreeing on something (which I don't remember what that is). He then mocked me, " your eyes too small cannot see is it?". To which I rebutted "so what if they are?" .That is what I have to deal with constantly.

Trolled on Chap Goh Meh

Today marks the end of the Chinese New Year. Fondly known as Chap Goh Meh (Hockien meaning 15th Night), singles will throw/pelt mandarin oranges with their names on it into the sea (or whatever place with water) in hopes of finding a match. This is where I should elaborate on how all this came about but I'm too lazy to research on it. Besides, I have another story to tell. I came across on Facebook today this saying (which I didn't know exists): Tim Kam Choi Ho Ang (Which means Throwing Mandarin oranges will ensure a good husband in hockien).


Anyway, a little while ago, my dad said something bewildering to me. Out of a sudden he turned to me and said:

Dad: You should go and meet more people. Get Married and start your own family.

Me: (Looked at him - poker face)


I said poker face because I didn't know what or how to rebut him. Of all things to be trolled by my dad on Chap Goh Meh...... Seriously? Do you really want me to get married so badly dad?

Fat

Fat. Something that I have not had since I was a baby.


It has always been an issue for me to gain an ounce. Regardless of how much I eat, the maximum weight gained would never exceed 2kg. And all that would soon be lost after a stressful period. As a result, I have always been mocked by obese people. Well hey since they mock my size it is rightful for them to see the fact that they are indeed blobs of moving lard.


However, lately, it seems that I have gotten a little 'bigger'. Jeans that use to fit fine seem too hard to get into. This has never happened in the past. Well except from the growing up days. Even skirts that use to spin around now don't fit. I was a little chubbier during high school days due to baby fat. But had massive weight loss in college and university due to stress and growing up.


When I went shopping yesterday, I picked out several pieces of clothing in my usual size and headed into the fitting room. I never thought I would ever have a chance to say this but man the clothes were tiny. When I got out of the fitting room, my sister sarcastically said :

Sister: What on earth were you doing in there for so long?
Thought you fainted in there.
The shop assistant kept looking at your stall wondering what took you so long.


Me: I had difficulty getting in and out of the clothes.
(The thing is Bershka clothes are a little small this season and they don't have zippers. Which makes it very hard to put on and remove).


I suppose my metabolism rate has slowed down. Bye bye skinny genes. Hello fats. I hope that I will have fat at the rightful places *ahem.

Call Me Maybe

Friend: Hey dear, wassup?

Girl: Took so long to reply. Hmph.

Friend: You got my mobile. You can call me.

Girl:Ain't got no roaming service. Besides, my phone is ancient. *hint. Birthday coming **bigger hint. Iphone 5 releasing soon. ***even bigger hint

Girl:I don't have ur mobile. It's still with u. lol

Friend:Ya very funny..wth

Rude Crazy Old Lady

It doesn't pay to be respectful to the elderly. Today happens to be crazy old folks day as I had several encounters with deranged old folks who throw tantarums over nothing. The first situation happened in the morning when I mentioned that my coffee wasn't hot and why wasn't the microwave being used. The old lady blew her lid because she disallow the use of the microwave because her son says that the wave is bad.


The other baffling scenario took place at the mall today. I was following the leader of the troop while we were walking to the opposite side of the mall. Enroute to the shops at the opposte side, we were engulfed by this whole family from the opposite dircetion that was walking towards us. The entire family swarmed over us and squeezed in between us. Among them was a frail looking old lady that was walking haphazardly. Fearing that she might fall if we happen to accidentally brush, I stood still to let her walk pass. As she approached my side, she suddenly shoved me. I was stunned when shoved by her as I almost lost my balance. She then turned around and scolded me. Probably profanities. What an rude crazy old lady. This shows that it doesn't pay to respect old people. What a prepsoterous person.


Must be the full moon today as crazy people tend to be crazy during the full moon.

TP Tantrums

My TP(office notebook) have been giving me a really hard time. It has been throwing tantrums and corrupting most of the files that I have painstakingly worked on. Then it decided to take it up a notch by blinking. Feeling frustrated that it always hangs and having my files corrupted, I had to call the Helpdesk. The Helpdesk helped me lodge a ticket and I was told to wait for a call from IT.


A person from IT then called and I was instructed to bring it up to them. I was then greeted by this uncle who was supposed to assist me. Upon seeing me, he asked me:

Uncle: Are you from China?

Me: No.

Uncle: Your name is unusual.

I get this all the time. This is not the first time I have been asked about my nationality. I recalled when I went for the interview, the security lady at the reception asked me whether I'm Korean.


Anyway, back to the story. So I related my issues to the IT uncle. His response was:

Uncle: Show me how it blinks.

Me: (Thinks to self, how am I to demonstrate how the computer blinks when it doesn't?)

So I told him I can't. And his response was:

Uncle: Next time when it blinks, take a photo and show me.

Me: (sweat)

Are You Dummy?

Last Friday, I called the Helpdesk up to report on the mistake in my name. When the person from the Helpdesk answered,I was stunned by what she said. She asked me:

Helpdesk: Are you dummy?

I was speechless for a moment. That's rather harsh now isn't it? It wasn't my fault that there was a mistake in my name to begin with. Then I thought to myself, well since I called the Helpdesk up, I suppose you can say so.

Responding to my momentary silence, the Helpdesk girl asked "Are you familiar with ayudame?". My reply was,"No". She added, "Can I have access to your mouse?". I told her "Sure".

What a name to call the aid program. Ayudame.