The Purpose

Life would be great if you enjoy what you are doing and making the most out of it. Life can also be a bitch if you loathe what you do and you don't get what you want. Life is only meaningful if you know what's its purpose.


Sadly speaking, I failed what God sent me to earth to do. I don't even know the purpose of my life anymore. If I died today and gone to meet God, I wouldn't know how to face Him. If God asks me "Child what have you done throughout your time on earth?" I wouldn't have the answer to it.


The sad thing is I am losing myself. I don't even know who I am anymore.The opening scene in "Nanny Diaries" totally depicts my life. If I'm asked to describe myself,I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. Who am I? I really don't have the answer to that anymore. Given the old me, I could easily tell all about myself with pride and confidence.


What's life when you can't even be yourself? What's life if you can't even have a say? What's the purpose of living if you are just a puppet? What's the purpose of life when you're just a pawn in a game? The current situation that I'm in makes me loathe even myself. When I look into the mirror I don't even know who that is staring back at me.


You know you have lost the purpose of living when you don't love yourself anymore. It's fine for the world to not love you as long as you love yourself. But when you no longer love yourself, the future looks bleak.