Things That Can't Be Expressed 5

Lappy is being antisocial again. Actually, when Lappy came back from the doctors, it did show signs of being antisocial. I just let it slide seeing that Lappy worked after restarting. After a few days of not using Lappy, I decided to pay Lappy some attention. Turned Lappy on, no wifi connection detected. Refreshed connection, nothing showed. Restart computer, no connection. Shut down and start again, connection detected but only lasted a few minutes. Neglected Lappy for another few days after that. Yesterday, turned Lappy on. Same problem. Refresh, restart, shut down, turn on. No sign of internet connection. Troubleshoot results indicated, cable not plugged in. Lappy runs on wifi, not cable. Fine. Brought Lappy to cable, plugged it in, there is internet connection. Removed cable, back to no internet connection. I supposed Lappy has come to the end of it's useful life. Lappy's life has been very simple. Never had to do arduous tasks, unlike it's predecessor. It seems that everything in life is indicating that I need a new beginning. That I ought to let go of things that were once a big part of my life. I have already accepted the fact but with changes comes pain. I was told that my pain is nothing compared to what others have to go through. You can't just go round telling people their troubles are not troubles just because you think so. Different people go through different kinds of woes. There is no standard template to measure a woe to see whether it qualifies as a woe by world standards. Healing takes time. Felt a great pang of pain after seeing something which I do not want to see, by accident. I couldn't justify why as I have accepted the fate. I thought I could mask the pain by trivialising it against the mishap of the missing airplane MH370. The anguish of not having answers regarding the mystery, the pain of not knowing the fate of their loved ones, seems greater than my woe. But even a pain of that size couldn't beat the pain I felt at that moment. There are a lot of questions which will never be answered. I will never know what went wrong as there is no black box in my case. I shouldn't have let you in. I shouldn't have trusted and belief. Just like the family members of the victims, I need closure.